Puppy 101 - Clarkson is Straight?!?

Clarkson started puppy training classes last week. Basically, we shelled out some dough to take the nugget to a class once a week where we learn some basic commands and obedience skills. Last Sunday was the first class, and I think it's safe to say the class will provide plenty material for the blog.

To start with, when we showed up on the first day, we were greeted with a room full with five other puppies, all of which were roughly twice Clarkson's size and all of which were female. Clarkson = fresh meat.

Each class, the puppies and their respective yuppy owners assemble in a circle around the room where we all listen to the instructor lecture on how we get our puppy to listen to us. The whole situation is comical because we owners listen intently, trying desperately to gain insight into what the F is going on in the brain of the puppies, and all the while the puppies do not even pretend to listen at all. Nope. They spend the class barking at each other, peeing (literally) with excitement. So far there have been four accidents (none from Clarkson, two from a particularly restless dog named Girdie). All the puppies want to do is PLAAAAY, and every ten minutes or so, the puppies are allowed to do so. We take them off leash and let them run wild.

Enter Sophie.

Sophie is a long-haired German Shepherd who has the hots for Clarkson. Well, she either has the hots for Clarkson or she wants to beat the sh*t out of him, I can't really tell, but I prefer to think it's the former. Everytime the dogs are let loose, Sophie is after Clarkson like white on rice. Sophie is the main aggressor, but really all the female dogs are after him. During the last class, Clarkson ended up on his back and pinned to the ground four times! Four times! Two times by Sophie, one time by Ellie, and one time by a tag-team Sophie/Girdie combination.

Needless to say, this is all very foreign to me. I came out of the closet when I was nineteen and never had girls chasing me. Shocking, I know. Even though I may not understand it, I kinda think he's asking for it. In fact, I think he may even like it...

More updates on Clarkson's progress with "sit," "down," and "Clarkson get Sophie OFF of you" later, but for now I will leave you with these immortal words of Ms. Britney Spears:

"Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer, oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby, you you you are, you you you are, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)"